In this age of Social Media it’s becoming more difficult to connect with our partner. While I admit I do enjoy surfing the net and updating my facebook page we are loosing the art of just having a verbal personal conversation. Set aside a time in the evening or during the day to disconnect from technology. We need to be able to verbally communicate. When you experience difficult times during your relationship you are not going to resolve the issues via a text. Start a conversation with your partner. Even if its about the weather as long as you are talking. Pretty soon you will find yourself conversing about other topics.
So, start the conversation today.
Ok, we have already established the importance of using the right tone of voice when communcating so now lets talk about how to effectively express your feelings. When you find yourself at an impass with your partner and neither one of you are hearing the other, not just listening but hearing each other, try this exercise.
Set the timer on your phone for 5 minutes. I suggest you start with a short amount of time or you may risk losing the attention of your partner and you may find yourself back where you started. Each of you get out a note pad and pen. Each of you will take a turn expressing your feelings while the other person take notes. You are not to interupt the person who has the floor.
After the five minutes are up, switch positions. Take turns reading aloud the words you wrote while your partner was speaking. Take a moment to digest and take in what was said. Discuss the outcome of the exercise with each other. You can do this as often as you need to. This excerise will bring the energy level to a better place of understanding. At the very least it will diffuse some of the anger and frustration that you both may be feeling at the time. The main objective is to allow you both to shift the energy and approach any situation in a calm fashion.
Best Wishes and Happy Communicating
Remember when you are having an argument with your partner always use your indoor voice. Speak as though your are in a public venue. 10% of arguments are due to a difference of opinion. 90% are due to the wrong tone of voice. You can prevent an argument from escalating into an all out war if you maintain a steady and calm voice. Yelling and screaming will not get the results you want.
So, the next time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with your partner, take a breath and state your position in a calm manner. This will help to diffuse the conversation without saying things you just might regret.
Best wishes and Happy Communicating
“Communication is the key to a good relationship. Two people can be in the same relationship and see it in two different ways.” Remember, it’s not just about you and your viewpoint alone anymore. There are two of you with two different opinions.
Check out furure posts for tips and exercises to help you have better communication.
The key to any good relationship is effective communication. Talking and communicating are not the same. Comunication requires two people who are willing to listen and understand the other person viewpoint. While you may not agree, you can come to an understanding and find middle ground. Check out future post for tips on how to effectively communicate.